Hello readers! Welcome to Trendphobia. In this blog post, we are going to talk about one of the most common human experiences- Rejection. Rejection can be an awful experience for many of us. It engenders different kinds of feelings and can be painful to deal with. Let’s read further to understand rejection a little more, why it causes us pain, and how we can deal with it!
Rejection, however big or small, hurts. There must have been various occurrences in your life where you were either directly or indirectly, publicly or privately rejected by other people. It feels like an insinuation that we are not wanted, that we are not desired. Rejection by our friends, romantic partners, in the workplace, or any social setting, can cause us to feel sad, angry, upset, or hurt. It wounds our sense of self and leaves long-lasting impressions on our mental and emotional well-being. We feel discarded and worthless. But why does rejection hurt so bad?
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The science behind the pain of rejection
“Rejection, though–it could make the loss of someone you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut-wrenching and world-ending.”
– Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming
The feelings of rejection are often described in more or less the same way we describe the pain caused by a cut, burn, or any kind of physical injury. But is the pain of rejection as literal as the words we use to describe it? The answer is – Yes! Research done using functional MRI scans suggests that the pain we feel after being rejected is similar to the pain we feel during a physical injury. It was observed that experiences of rejection activate the same regions of the brain as experiences of physical pain do.
How to Deal with Rejection?
Since humans are social beings who care about relationships and social acceptance, the pain of rejection can not be avoided completely. However, it can be mitigated to some extent. Here are some things to remember that can help you deal with rejection healthily.
Also read: Acceptance: Key to a Healthy Mindset
Don’t view rejection as a negative thing
Getting turned down for a job, getting dumped by your partner, not getting invited to a party, and various other kinds of rejections can make you feel bad. Nevertheless, rejection does not have to be a negative thing. It can be helpful in re-evaluating and re-assessing your relationships with others and with yourself.
It can be used as an opportunity to learn something that can help make better choices in the future. It may signify that you are not ready for the job you wanted, or you may be lacking a certain skill that you weren’t aware of earlier. In relationships, it might help you put things into perspective and help you gain a better understanding of people and relationships. Do not always consider rejection as a negative thing. Because such realizations in life won’t occur to you unless you face rejection. Several of them.
Remember that rejection doesn’t define your worth
The reasons for rejection are more often than not, impersonal. If someone chooses someone else over you, it does not affect or define your worth as a person. Everyone is different and hence, everyone chooses differently. An individual’s choices are a reflection of themselves only, not other people.
Do not blame yourself for not being someone else’s choice. Self-criticism will only exacerbate your hurt. Remember that your worth is defined by what you choose to do and not what others choose to do to you.
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Let rejection be the proof of your efforts
Rejection says – you tried! Every time you try something new or challenging, rejection is always a standing possibility. If you succeed, you defeat that possibility and if you don’t, you get rejected. Both of the possibilities indicate that efforts were made on your part, regardless of the outcome.
Additionally, the more you try new things – applying for a better job, making new friends, pitching a new idea to your boss, etc., the easier it becomes to handle rejection. You accept the fact that the possibility of getting rejected is always going to be there. You understand that rejection is the worst that can happen so you either try or you don’t, you either continue or give up.
Work on building your self-esteem
Fear of rejection can thwart your will to try again. It can stop you from pushing the boundaries and exploring your skills and capabilities. Your self-esteem can stagger during such times. Therefore, you must restore your belief in yourself and remind yourself that you are worthy and capable.
Words of positive affirmations, making a list of things you are good at, and indulging in an activity you excel at all of this can help you boost your self-confidence. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how big or small. You must constantly work on your personal development and build a strong sense of self-worth. Here are a few ways you can do this
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Spend time with “your people”
Since rejection can make you feel undesired, you must seek acceptance from the people who get you. We all have our own set of people who accept us and love us for who we are. It becomes a need to surround ourselves with such people when we feel undervalued and unappreciated.
The world is big and not everyone you come across will accept you. Rejection can trick you into believing that you are not enough. This is why you need to socialize with people who make you feel valued and loved. They will reassure your faith in yourself and help you through your tough times.
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