Do you feel like no matter what you do or how hard you try, you’re never good enough for anything in life?
Feeling of inadequacy can stem from a lot of things including your past experiences in life. Some aspects in our life do need improvements and we all must strive to become better everyday.
However, as crucial as it is for us to learn from our past follies and become better, it is not worth aspiring for perfection. There’s no such thing as perfection. If you find something as perfect in this world, I bet you’d lose that opinion as soon as you find something even better.
You can never be good enough for anyone, nor should you try to be.
And we’re going to look into the reasons exactly why you will never be good enough for anyone or anything or anyone in life.
Some people are never satisfied. Their desires are limitless and they never seem to be satisfied with anything in their life. So, they demand fulfillment of their desires from others. They project their unfulfilled desires onto other people and these desires take form of expectations. But expectations can never be met. Expectations only grow bigger and bigger because in reality, these expectations are nothing but desires in disguise.
Sometimes, people will try to convince you that they have expectations from you because they hope better things for you. However, hope is not expectation. Hope does not demand, nor does it bind. It rather provides you with faith and confidence and frees you from fear and agony.
Availability of better
No matter where you go, you will see that there is always something better out there. A better job, better place, better clothes and even better life. Moreover, there will always be someone better than you. Someone who is more intelligent, more wealthy, more respected and even more ‘good-looking’ than you. And even if you get ahead of that one person who is better than you, there will be several more.
For as long as there is someone better out there, the custom of comparison will never go away. People compare us with other people all the time. But, not only others, we too compare ourselves to other people.
According to the social comparison theory, the tendency of comparing ourselves to others is related to the desire for self-evaluation. We assess our own abilities, opinions and accomplishments with others as determiners. We constantly compare ourselves to others’ successes and failures to see where we stand in life.
Comparison done with the intention to learn from others and make improvements for personal growth is not bad. Comparison is distressing only when you use that comparison to belittle yourself. It becomes a problem when the abundance in other people’s lives creates a feeling of lack in our own.
Ever changing and evolving world
The world is on a continuous run to change, grow, remold and reform. New innovations and technologies are progressively changing the way we live and go about our daily lives. Everyday there is something new that’s trending. We constantly feel the need to keep up with these new trends in the market out of the fear of being left behind.
But no matter how much you try to catch up with these things, there will always be more and something new.
Unrealistic Standards in society
Like trends, standards set by societies are not static. They are constantly altered as per the convenience of one group in the society, completely indifferent to the situations and sentiments of other groups. In society, there are all different kinds of unrealistic standards- of beauty, of relationships, career and even life. Trying to fit in these impractical standards all the time causes a negative impact on both our physical and mental health.
Do you think you can conform to all the unrealistic standards set by society? More importantly, do you want to?
Considering all of it…..
The feeling of inadequacy, the feeling that you’re not “good enough” is a result of the false belief that perfection is attainable. And since perfection is an illusion, not only you but there’s no one in this entire world who is “good enough.”
So, stop being so harsh on yourself. Appreciate yourself for all that you do and know that you’re worth it!
Some people in your life will always try to belittle you and criticize you. You can never satisfy such people. Surround yourself with warm and genuine people. People who appreciate you, accept you and love you for all your efforts and for who you truly are.
And remember, you’ll never be good enough for them either since there’s always room for betterment. But, for people who value you, you’ll just be enough for them. That’s all that matters.